From a young child many of us were taught that if we made a mistake or did something wrong, according to someone else, that we were stupid and unworthy of being loved. It’s no wonder that we grow up to be adults who are afraid to make a decision, afraid to make the wrong choice, afraid of the consequences. The fear of doing or saying something wrong is deep-seated in many people. That fear is perpetuated by negative self talk such as “that was stupid of me” or “how could I have made that mistake?” or “what’s wrong with me?”
The truth of the matter is that you’re not stupid, that mistakes can usually be corrected and there’s nothing wrong with you. What most people don’t realize is the huge effect their own self talk has on their behavior, their self confidence and their view of the world.
Have you noticed that people with low self esteem view the world as a scary place with negative people in it? And people with high self confidence believe the world is a wonderful place to live? That’s because what you think about yourself is what you think about the world. How you talk to yourself colors what you think and say about others.
Improving your self talk will change your view of the world and how you relate to the people in it. Why? Because it will improve the way you relate to yourself. Your relationship with you is the most important relationship because everything starts with you and your thoughts about yourself.
When you talk to yourself in a positive way it is a form of self-love. Can you feel the difference between saying, “I’m so stupid” and “Hahaha, that was too funny!”? Lighten up and allow yourself to have different adventures, negative and positive; that’s how you figure out what direction you want your life to go.
When I stopped looking at my negative experiences as mistakes and started seeing them as adventures that helped me clarify the choices I preferred to take, my life changed and I started to lighten up. I realized that we’re all doing the best we can navigating through life with the skills we have. As I began talking to myself in a more loving manner I had more love to share with the world and the people in it. I felt more confident to move in the direction that my heart was wanting me to go.
What you say to and about yourself is key to loving yourself. It’s key to how you relate to the world and the people in it. It’s key to improving the relationship you have with yourself because you take yourself everywhere you go.
Lighten up, Friends.
©2019 Dawnie Dahir